Down, Up, In, Out: Practical Ways to Mature in Love

This past Sunday, Pastor Tim preached the second sermon in our Marks of Maturity series. If you missed it, be sure to listen to his message on maturing in love. As we continue to reflect on this theme, I’d like to explore some practical ways that we can mature in love at Holy Cross. 

But first, let’s briefly think about how God’s love works in our lives, our community, and beyond. I like to think about God’s love as “down, up, in, out” (this sounds like the moves to a dance you might do at a wedding). Let’s look at each.

Down, Up, In, Out

Down: God is love and loves us first. Before we could ever love God or one another, the love of God came down to us in the person and work of Jesus Christ. “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 John 4:10).

Up: God’s love creates love in our hearts for himself—the God who first loved us in all of our weakness and unworthiness. We look upward to God in love and thanksgiving. “God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (Romans 5:4).

In: God’s love creates love in our hearts for our brothers and sisters within the church. We could say this love flows inward—into the covenant community of God’s people. For example, Barnabas and others sold fields and houses to provide for the needs of poor Christians (Acts 4:34-37). 

Out: God’s love creates love in our hearts for those outside of the church community. We look outward beyond our community for opportunities to show love and care for all people. This is the story of the book of Acts and the early church. For example, Christians adopted exposed infants and cared for plague victims. 

God’s love for us (down) doesn’t need anything added to it. His love for us is perfect. However, we do need grace to comprehend it (here’s the Apostle Paul’s prayer for an increased understanding of the love of Christ). As Pastor Tim preached, the more we grasp this perfect love, the more we will mature in love toward God and others (up, in, out).

My purpose here is to explore some practical ways we can mature in love, inwardly (toward fellow Christians) and outwardly (toward the world).

Maturing in Love Inwardly: The Church

I’m convinced that to mature in love, we need two things. First, proximity to other Christians. And second, God’s word. In other words, we only grow in love toward one another when we’re with one another under the direction of God’s love. Take away proximity to other Christians, and you don’t have anyone to learn how to love. Remove the Word, and all you have left is selfish and permissive love. God’s Word forms us into a fellowship centered upon Christ rather than human interests and concerns. Consider the implications of this: 

• Being a Christian without faithfully gathering with a fellowship of other Christians just doesn’t work. This is completely alien to the New Testament. Jesus and the Apostles assume that we’ll be in community with other disciples. “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24). Of course, there are seasons when one cannot attend worship due to illness or other circumstances. However, these are exceptions, not the rule. This is why the church visits those who are ill or homebound.

• The issue with online worship is that it lacks proximity to people. The word of God is present, but the flesh and blood members of the body of Christ are missing.

• Coming to church and then immediately leaving without lingering for fellowship makes it a challenge to know others and be known. What if we aimed for at least one conversation before we leave?

• Life Groups and Bible studies are so, so important. I have repeatedly observed that members involved in a Life Group typically receive deeper, more consistent care during difficult times. The pastors can’t visit everyone in every crisis with a meal. That kind of arrangement would lead to pastors overfunctioning and the members of the congregation underfunctioning (see Acts 6:1-7). Just the other day, I visited a few members who had experienced unexpected health issues, and I was so pleased to hear that before I could visit, the church had already shown up with meals, prayers, and concern. Life Groups foster this kind of practical love for others. Life Groups have the potential to mature our love. They serve as a space for the community’s “inward” love to grow. Are you ready to experience this kind of Christ-centered community? Join a Life Group and grow in faith, friendship, and care for one another. 

Maturing in Love Outwardly: The World  

I believe that our congregation has grown significantly over the past few years. We have been growing deeper in God’s Word through weekly worship and community (Bible study and Life Groups). Thank you, Holy Spirit! However, there’s always the danger that our growth inward will get stuck. We feel comfortable in our safe church bubble, fellowshiping with people we know, love, and trust. But the Holy Spirit will not allow us to stay comfortable. He will push us out of our comfort zones—out of the nest and into the world, where we show Christ’s love to others. And this is exactly where I believe our congregation can mature more deeply in love. 

Now, before I continue, let me acknowledge two things. First, every single day you and I are sent into the world to love others in our vocations. So, God has already sent you to specific places in the world to love, serve, and bear witness to Christ. So often, we get anxious about outreach. “We need to reach out to our community! We need to do missions!” This is true. But if we are living faithfully in our vocations and bearing witness to Christ (marks of maturity we’ll get to in a few weeks), then Holy Cross is doing mission and outreach every week in places no program could ever access. Sometimes our zeal for a program could be our anxiety or a way of missing the mission and outreach right in front of us. Every single day, you are called to an outward love that engages neighbors and strangers with the love of Christ. 
 
Second, Holy Cross is an incredibly generous congregation. It never ceases to amaze me how members step up to support ministry in big and small ways. Thanks be to God!
Now, with that said, I do think we can grow by pursuing organized outreach efforts. This requires patient prayer (so that we don’t run ahead of the Holy Spirit), patient conversation (so that we’re all on the same page), and careful planning (so that we know what we’re doing, why we’re doing it, and how we’ll do it). Yes, we are called to step out in faith, but talking to the Lord and to one another before we do so is wise.

As I’ve been thinking and praying, here’s what keeps coming up regarding local mission and outreach: nursing home ministry. Some churches excel at caring for the poor. Others rally around foster care and adoption. And still others reach out to youth through sports programs or to immigrants through English classes. Perhaps the Lord will lead Holy Cross toward a focused effort in these areas someday. However, local mission and outreach opportunities are often not hard to find. They’re right in front of us. We’re called to rally around what the Lord has already worked among us. We are always just participants in the work He is already doing. Consider the following reflections on nursing home ministry in Kearney: 

• Kearney is a city where many elderly people will spend the last years of their lives. As far as I can count, we have about 15 nursing homes and assisted living centers. This is significant for a city our size. This is a demographic we ought to notice. 

• In visiting these locations, Pastor Tim and I have noticed that many residents have no connection to a church, live so far from their out-of-town churches that they lack in-person fellowship, or do not receive pastoral care from their local church. Many of these folks are faithful Christians whose lives have centered upon Christian fellowship, but now they’re living in exile from their community. And still others are not Christians and desperately need to hear the Gospel. 

• I am not aware of any church in Kearney that makes nursing home ministry a main outreach effort. Some churches lead worship services or Bible studies at a particular location, and Roman Catholic churches send eucharistic ministers to administer communion in many locations, but I am not aware of a church in Kearney that makes nursing home ministry a focused effort in which all members have an opportunity to serve. Could this be our calling? 

• Whenever we visit nursing homes, the residents often know who we are. “Hey! You’re from Holy Cross! I watch you on TV!” Through our NTV outreach, Holy Cross already has a significant ministry presence in local nursing homes. In fact, I have been told more than once that the staff will often put our service on in the dining rooms and activity rooms, and that residents gather to watch. How might we add an in-person element? What if Holy Cross members or Life Groups adopted a nursing home? What if coffee and fellowship followed the NTV service? Or what if a group of Holy Cross members led a Bible study or discussion based on the sermon series or readings?

• Holy Cross currently has four nursing home services: two monthly communion services (Brookstone Gardens and Kinship Pointe Northridge), one vicar-led service (St. Luke’s), and one lay-led service (St. John’s). What would it look like to expand the number of worship services to other locations? Furthermore, what if a Life Group adopted each of these nursing homes? What if members gathered to worship and fellowship with residents?

• We’re already doing this. At Kinship Pointe, a group of Holy Cross members leads devotions and coffee with residents once a month. On the third Thursday, they also gather residents for a communion service in the chapel. The pastor doesn’t organize this event. He just shows up to lead worship. The members of Holy Cross lead the ministry. The same is true for our St. John’s service. Sometimes a pastor will lead, but more often than not this is a lay-led service. Members know the residents by name. They lead the music, singing, Scripture readings, and prayers. What if we expanded this ministry presence into other locations? How might members of all ages get involved?

• During VBS, we took our 5th-grade students to Kinship Pointe to sing hymns for the residents. I can’t tell you how appreciative the residents were to have a visit from younger Christians. They felt valued and seen rather than isolated from children. And I think this experience was formative and meaningful to our VBS students. It was a beautiful intergenerational experience. Could this be a regular occurrence? 

• Finally, nursing home ministry is an opportunity to share the Gospel with staff and family members. The staff often participate in worship or overhear the preaching. They genuinely appreciate our presence. And family members—the children and grandchildren of residents—take notice of the care we show for their parents and grandparents. In other words, nursing home ministry has the potential to open other ministry doors. “And they will know that we are Christians by our love.”  

Now, none of the above points are sure and certain ministry directions. As we think about maturing in outward love, I’m simply observing what we’re currently doing and imagining our potential future. As Senior Pastor, I don’t believe my purpose is to tell the congregation, “This is where we’re doing ministry.” Rather, my role is to think, pray, imagine, and ask questions about what’s possible. And if it’s God’s will and God’s timing, it will happen. So, Holy Cross, how do you want to mature in love, both inward and outward?